Today I started to cry at work after a disagreement with a friend and colleague and couldn't stop. For 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 20 minutes, half a hour it just wouldn't stop. I sat in my seat, staring at my screen, trying to stop the tears, trying to concentrate on something else. I took phone calls and was sure they would be able to hear the tears in my voice. I kept my head down in shame. I was too scared to go to the toilet and get tissue. Eventually I had to and I rushed head down, scared to meet people's eyes. I knew mine were bight red. I got into the toilets and hid in the stall on the end and cried and cried and cried. I knew that the only thing that would make me stop was smoking. I took deep breaths and tried to calm down. The tears fell and fell. I went to the sink and splashed cold water on my face. It went down my cleavage.
I laughed.
Another couple of deep breaths, a wipe of my face and I went back to my desk.
I did not smoke. I am so proud of myself.
About Me
- Kelly
- United Kingdom
- I am a contradiction. Fiesty but I hate conflict. Happy and smiley but constant worrying. Loud and silly with friends but painfully shy around strangers. I love the summer but can't cope with the sun. My favourite things in the whole world are my husband, my toddler boy, my baby girl, my friends, my family, penguins, singing loudly alone in the car, and Cornwall. I don't like people who think the world owes them something, my fears and celery.
3 comments:
Quitting smoking is hard. You passed a very big test. Keep going. One day at a time.
My plan is to quit for my 30th birthday which is coming up on January 6th.
Sorry to hear you cried at work. I have before, and it is really embaressing. But, well done for not smoking, I am so proud of you, to get through that without a cigarette is something to be be dead chuffed about!
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